Towel Dilemma!

A satirical and whimsical post today on the useless absurdity of trying to conceal and to cover our nakedness with a towel!

News Dispatch:

There is an extreme crisis that is rapidly gaining in both popularity and in practice! Without warning, it is now appearing in alarming frequency not only online and social media but in actual reality the world over. So much widespread attention is now being focused on this matter that analysts are engaged until the late-night hours in a frantic attempt to contain the damage!

Before presenting a detailed examination of this serious emergency, we’ll pause here at this moment to offer some background on this situation…

Background:

From the earliest possible days, humans for some unknown reason became ashamed and embarrassed over the fact that they were not only born naked (without covering) but also lived their lives completely exposed – their physical bodies visible to everyone.

This blatant public exposure disgusted the masses as they sought escape from this senseless invasion of their privacy: their very own personal anatomy! Not only assaulted with the prying eyes of family and friends, but openly seen by all those they encountered – complete strangers!

So they adopted the fig leaf to ensure their discretion. Suddenly, you had to “stop” before going about and cover yourself with a fig leaf!

Modesty and the Towel:

People responded to the idea of the fig-leaf and to the habit of concealing and covering certain parts of their body. Especially those anatomical parts revealed their gender. After all, they preferred remaining anonymous and their female/male status was viewed as “top secret!” They did not want the entire world to know every aspect about themselves!

The fig was a common food item and the fig tree was prevalent all around. Thus, the fig-leaf was accessible and plentiful – and a perfect natural cover! Soon, everyone had their own choice of fig-leaf: species/type, size, whatever they desired. Gradually, the issues of uniqueness and vanity evolved as it was now apparent that everyone possessed a fig-leaf!

The weaving of natural strands together to create cloth – for covering – developed to erase the monotony of every human attached to a fig-leaf. The approaching Ice Age introduced the additional need of cloth not just to hide one’s gender anatomy but also for comfort (warmth) as the outdoor temperatures dropped from tropical to cold.

Somewhere along the way of the “fig-leaf-to-cloth-weaving-to-cloth-covering-to-clothes” journey the necessity of cleaning and washing of all this increasing amount of cloth and clothing was realized. This reality was followed by the discovery that clean clothes on a dirty body was not compatible and the thought of doing this was absurd. Personal hygiene came into existence as did the birth of the towel!

The Towel Alternative:

The definition of a towel is: ” a piece of absorbent cloth or paper used for wiping and/or drying.” Over a period of time and for convenience, people began to modify this usage towards their personal needs. For many, once they dried after their bath/shower, they simply wrapped a cloth towel around their waist and proceeded with life. Actor Max Konnor demonstrates in the above .gif image. Life goes on!

As bare practitioners, my spouse, Aaron, and I recognize the ridiculous substitution of the towel for clothing. One of the undisputed reasons offered by practically everyone – both naturists/nudists and the textile (clothes wearers) – for the use of clothes is to conceal, cover, disguise or to hide one’s nakedness.

The generally accepted routine of using a towel instead of clothing for protection from being perceived as naked makes no sense. If anything, the casual nature of the towel alone infers our total nudity underneath. Obviously, we’re bare. An accidental/intentional slip of just one finger into the top of the towel and the entire “cover” drops to the floor! Instant body and clothes freedom – and in full view! No imagination necessary or required!

Assorted Dilemmas:

Our man on the right (above) wants to return to the freedom and independence of nakedness. His identically toweled partner is instead deciding to continue to protect his privacy and keeps his towel covering his waist! Which practice will endure?

Even among seasoned towel proponents, it is becoming increasingly apparent that the usefulness of this absorbent piece of cloth is nothing more than an illusion. Why bother to waste time wrapping it around your waist when all that’s necessary is hold onto it if you must (out of habit) and deposit it in the laundry while returning to your life? More than likely, serious thought will cause you to discard the towel altogether! Single handedly grasping the towel is no guarantee it will work!

The fearless and loyal bare practitioner, Felipe Ferreira, his towel-wrapped friend, Raphael Horst, to recover his glory and pride in body and clothes freedom! Which of the two will dominate and emerge victorious?

Final Triumph:

At long last, common sense, decency and justice prevail! The senseless and shallow experiment of the towel as an absorbent and protective cloth of convenience – however misdirected and misguided – finally is following the ill-fated fig-leaf into obscurity. The demise of deceit is upon us all and bare practitioners are in jubilation over the outcome! The towel itself now resumes the role of a cloth to dry the body!

A growing amount of evidence is now determining that the delightful comfort of nakedness – whether social (communal or group) or solo (alone) – is returning to popular demand!

All hail, bare practitioners! The wicked witch of cover-up, discretion and modesty is dead! Ding-dong the witch is dead!

Naked hugs!

Roger Poladopoulos/ReNude Pride

Author’s Note: The next post entry here is planned for Friday, January 31, 2025, and the proposed topic is: “Bottoms-Up! January, 2025!”