Author’s Note: This post is not offered as a scientific study of same gender loving (gay) attraction. It contains no empirical references nor evidence save that experienced within my own family. It is a personal perspective on being aware of same-sex attraction and is published here on my ReNude Pride blog as a way of celebrating the month of June as the traditional recognized Gay Pride Month here in the USA.
Tag: love
USA: Father’s Day
In the United States, today is Father’s Day Sunday. This is the designated date in which we honor and salute our fathers – adopted, birth (natural), the man who raised us or those who served as our surrogate fathers when our own wasn’t around, for whatever the reason. We think of them on this day and, if possible, we thank them for all the time and effort they invested in us, as well as subtly apologizing for all the anguish and pain we caused them because we were too obstinate, selfish or foolish. Happy Father’s Day!
Be Careful What You Wish For!
Here in the USA, June is the month that is traditionally set aside as Gay Pride Month. As a result, here on ReNude Pride, I celebrate it as Gay Nude Pride Month and as an occasion to be both as bare (naked, nude) and as same gender loving (gay) as I want. It stands to reason that this time of the year, I feel compelled to offer a few posts that are blatantly focused on being gay and clothes-free. This is one of those aforementioned postings.
Same Gender Love: Publicly Kissing
I don’t know how many times I’ve seen opposite gender (heterosexual) loving couples publicly kissing. I’ve seen it in the movies (cinema), theatres, at the beach, in the supermarket, walking down the street, in the park, etc. It has happened to often that I can’t count the number of times or the number of places where it has occurred. Every time I see it, I think to myself: “Sweet. They’re in love.” I’m happy for them and myself, also.
Mother’s Day, USA
This Sunday, May 14, 2017, is Mother’s Day in the USA. As the name suggests, it is the day set aside for all of us to remember our mothers. It is also a time to reflect on the duties and responsibilities of motherhood and to honor all the women who perform those duties and responsibilities endlessly, tirelessly and lovingly. This is their day to be saluted and commended for being themselves.
Black and White Men Together
On both my “About“ (click to view) page and through my postings here on ReNude Pride, I’ve written extensively of my husband, Aaron, and our lives together. What may, or may not, be known by others is that we are a multiracial couple. Aaron is African-American (black) and I am Greek (white). Race was never an issue for either one of us, nor our families, although we have encountered racism when we first lived together and since we’ve been married.
I Love You!
Tomorrow, February 14, is the day where almost everyone in the entire world exchanges the greeting: I love you! It makes no difference if the person is family, friend or indeed the object of our devoted affection, the vast majority of us share this sentiment with at least one other person on this occasion. It’s a simple phrase that sums up our feelings.
Perfectly Imperfect
Authors Note: Valentine’s Day is fast approaching and these are some thoughts in anticipation of the date and to share how my husband, Aaron, and I first met and began falling in love .
There aren’t too many of us who are fortunate enough to receive a Valentine greeting that is as truthful as the one above; unless it is from a naturist/nudist spouse. Only someone who is committed to another in heart, mind and soul dares to be bold enough to openly admit to their emotional shortcomings and physical aberrations.
Sleeping Together, Bare, When Visiting Family
When guests overnight away from your own home same sex couples often face a dilemma that is unique. This is especially true when staying with family members, particularly parents. Where do you sleep? In separate beds in separate rooms? What about if you live together while you’re at home and being a dutiful child and visiting a childhood home? Does the partner who’s parents own the home ask if you both can sleep in the same bed? Or do you take the “easy” route and stay in a nearby hotel?
This question may sound trivial and silly to some but it can be a relationship-breaker to a same gender couple who are both trying not to offend or alienate the family of one or the “in-laws” of the other. The problem is compounded by the fact that most extended families don’t have experience in this type of situation and many have no one to look to for their advice. The resources that are available for most man/woman couples simply don’t exist for gay couples and their extended families.
Aaron (my husband) and I were fortunate in that we both have supportive parents who made it clear, beforehand, that when (not if, but when) we visited exactly what the sleeping arrangements would be. Aaron and I met in 2010 at a social nudity event. When he went with me to Greece that August to see my parents, we knew in advance that we’d be sleeping apart. As my father explained to us in an email, we’d only recently met and weren’t even living together, so we’d have separate bedrooms while in Greece. Their logic being you do what you want in your own space but once you’re under our roof, our will be done. Period. We agreed.
That same year, for Thanksgiving, we traveled to Roanoke, Virginia, to stay with Aaron’s parents. He’d only “come-out” to his parents after he met me and so this family visit was somewhat tense (understatement). He’d told his folks about meeting mine and about our sleeping accommodations while there and his parents felt the same. As that was settled before we even left Arlington, our stay in Roanoke was relatively stress free.
We didn’t move in together until the Spring, 2012. Once that happened, whenever we went to see my family, we were allowed to sleep together as long as my nieces and nephews weren’t staying with my parents. If they were there, then it was back to sleeping apart. With his family, we weren’t allowed to sleep in the same bed even though they knew that we were living together.
On October 6, 2014, marriage equality came to Virginia. Aaron’s parents immediately began a relentless campaign for our getting married. They even called my parents and enlisted their support for us legalizing our relationship. Unbeknownst to either of them, we’d already agreed to wed in 2015. We both wanted a summer wedding as neither of us appreciate cold weather.
Aaron and I were married on Saturday, August 15, 2015. After that day, when we visit my family in Greece, whether my nieces and nephews are staying with my parents or not, we share the same bed. When we visit Aaron’s parents, we now sleep in the same bed in his old room.
I realize that different circumstances apply to each same gender couple and that each situation is both special and unique depending on the family. Just as no two individuals are alike, neither are their family dynamics. Marriage equality is a recent phenomenon and isn’t universally recognized. Homophobia still exists throughout the world and even in the most progressive of societies. Their are religious beliefs and cultural taboos that some parents and even contemporaries can’t seem to move beyond.
Unfortunately, while although most of our families honestly love us, many don’t really understand us. Without causing a familial crisis, most of my gay friends who are in relationships just keep their comments to themselves and do whatever is needed to maintain harmony on the home front. That is by no means an ideal solution but it is sometimes the only option available to us.
Most of us don’t want to add any extra stress into our already hectic lives. Family drama, specifically over a situation where we have no control, is something we can all live without. There is no benefit to being an unwelcome guest in the household of another. Nothing good will come out of that predicament.
I offered the examples above of how Aaron’s family and mine responded to our sleeping together both before and after our marriage. Other families will offer different levels of acceptance based on moral values, religious beliefs and individual attitudes. There is no right or wrong carved into stone regarding this situation. Each couple and their family will have to decide for themselves what they can and cannot live with.
It goes without saying that sleeping bare is the choice of each couple. When sleeping nude in the home of another, just be mindful of the “enthusiasm” of children when guests are around. While visiting my parents when one of my nephews was there, Aaron and I were awakened before dawn one morning with my five-year old nephew crawling into bed with us and taking off his pyjamas. Since we were asleep clothes-free, he wanted the same. While there is nothing wrong with our nudity, we should remain sensitive to the tendency of children to emulate their elders and to the wishes of their parents.
And children aren’t the only ones to be concerned about. Sometimes, the adult homeowners are just as lax in respecting privacy. If your family isn’t aware of the visiting couple’s naturist/nudist habits, re-thinking those sleeping habits might be advisable.
Naked hugs!
Roger/ReNude Pride
ReNude Pride: Guys Without Boxers! 