In my warped and convoluted way of thinking – which I am among the first to admit is very nudecentric (nude-focused) – a mixed couple is nothing more than one partner in the relationship who prefers being bare and the other partner who prefers to be textile (clothed). That’s how I define a mixed couple. It’s not a judgment on the individuals who make up the couple, just a means of defining them – together. It’s how I view them as they relate to Aaron and myself.
The men above are an example of what I consider a a mixed couple. One of them is comfortably bare (naked, nude) and the other is comfortably wearing clothes. They’re both together and appear to be quite comfortable with one being openly bare and the other wearing a swim-suit. Completely respectful of their individual decision on whether or not to sun-bathe with or without clothing.
The man (left) who is bare (clothes-free, naked, nude) is in no way embarrassed over his lack of any clothing. If he wishes that his partner/spouse was also without a swimsuit, he doesn’t show it with a facial expression or body language. Apparently, he respects his partner’s wishes to be modestly covered and not be publicly nude. We can only admire his pride in being socially naked (in public) and his understanding of his boyfriend’s need to preserve a semblance of modesty and privacy. He is very comfortable in his relationship and has no problem being true to his preference for clothes-freedom and in respecting his boyfriend’s need to remain covered in public.
And the same is true for his partner. He accepts his spouse’s nudity and similarly doesn’t allow his being naked to disrupt their relationship. When his man is bare, he in no way reacts emotionally and responds as though it is the most natural thing in the world (which we all know it to be). Others viewing them together at the beach, one bare and one clothed, and whatever their thoughts, are of no concern to him.
Having experienced the conflicts of being in a mixed relationship myself, I admire the maturity and tolerance that these men share. Granted, I and my then-boyfriends were younger and maybe if we had met after we both had matured, our interaction wouldn’t have been as emotional or as painful as it was. Our conflicts and ongoing debate regarding my nudity and their modesty maybe wouldn’t have been as vicious. But then hindsight always allows us to view life in an entirely different perspective.
These two men have evidently the confidence of their own self-worth and in their relationship with one another that they are comfortable in being themselves. Together they know that their devotion to each other is greater than any disparaging thoughts that others may have. They don’t need the approval of others to be themselves.
In retrospect, I’m not so sure maturity would have made any difference in the outcome of my previous boyfriend-boyfriend relationships. Our arguments over my nudity and my bare friends versus their need to remain covered and their textile (clothed) friends, in my mind, merely masked serious underlying problems in our relationship. Being nude or not was a convenient and obvious “irreconcilable incompatibility” that we could use to justify our ending and going off in separate directions.
And the most obvious benefit from our “irreconcilable incompatibility” is that it led me to meet Aaron, my husband. Our bare bonding and loving has made the journey all worthwhile!