In case you didn’t notice, I borrowed this title from Mr. William Shakespeare. I don’t think he’ll mind too much, as he’s already famous for his original work. That, and the fact that he’s been dead for centuries. Come to think of it, his work is entitled A Mid-Summer Night’s Dream whereas mine is A Mid-Summer Night’s Fantasy. Similar, yes, but also different. So I received my inspiration for this post from the Bard of Avon, instead of borrowing. I feel somewhat better now.
Before I progress further, if I were able to converse with Mr. Shakespeare, I would like to ask him what the hell is “mid-summer?” I’ve always understood it to be June 21, which is the official start of the Summer in the Northern Hemisphere. So how can the beginning of the season simultaneously be the middle of the same season? I remember asking one of my literature teachers in primary school the same question. Her response was that it was a reference to the start of Summer also being the shortest night of the year.
Whether or not her reply is truthful or not. isn’t really important. For the purpose of ReNude Pride, let’s suppose that it is valid. So now, this is the most magical and full of mischief night of the entire year. That’s why we have DuQuan, the Wonderful Naked Swordsman as the featured image for this blogpost. He’s guarding all the residents of the Enchanted Forest against all manner of mischief on this magical evening, the commencement of Summer. In particular, he’s protecting Prince Chuck (it rhymes with “Puck” of the Bard’s fame) of the Enchanted Forest.
For those of you who are still interested, that’s Prince Chuck in the image above. Of course, he’s bare, gay and proud – this is my fantasy and it is Gay Nude Pride Month. He and DuQuan are in love with one another. The only problem being that neither one of them are aware of that fact quite yet. They don’t discover their love for each other until the First Day of Summer, 2018, an entire year from now.
Prince Chuck is confined to live in the Enchanted Forest. DuQuan, on the other hand, is forced to guard the borders of the Enchanted Forest and must dwell in a cave in the Rocky Land. Thus far, they have only been able to gaze at each other from a distance. However, they do frequently encounter one another in their respective dreams. These dreams are what fuels their growing love for one another.
Every year, on Mid-Summer’s Night Magic, two gentlemen woods-nymphs magically appear in the Enchanted Forest. Remember, I told you that this was a magically-inspiring night! These two wood-nymphs are named Alistair and Rudyard. They have been in love with each other through all the ages of time.
Unfortunately, they are only able to be with one another on this one magical evening of the year. This situation was caused by a spell cast upon them by Louisa, the Evil Wicked Witch of the West. Evidently, Alistair and Rudyard had antagonized Louisa by interfering with her planned seduction of DuQuan, the Wonderful Naked Swordsman.
Louisa, because she is the Evil Wicked Witch of the West, was so angry with both Alistair and Rudyard, that she cast a spell on them while they were on their very first date. She didn’t even allow them a chance to share their first kiss. Before I forget, Louisa just won the first international Bitch-Witch Contest. This honor entitles her to be known as the Biggest Bitch of the Land.
And so the plot thickens and the magical Mid-Summer Night’s Fantasy continues to unfold. Every year, on the day of Mid-Summer Night, the foolish Aqua-Dudes, Tom and Jerry, welcome the First Day of Summer by secretly visiting every pool throughout the entire planet and secretly skinny-dipping in each one. As far-fetched as this may appear to some of you sceptics, keep in mind that this isn’t that far off-base from the notion of Santa Clause visiting every home on Christmas Eve. If Santa can do it, then Tom and Jerry can, too!
On this particular Mid-Summer Day, Tom and Jerry, the elusive Aqua-Dudes, were delayed on their annual skinny-dipping adventures throughout the world. Someone had forgotten the date of the First Day of Summer and neglected to fill their swimming pool. This oversight, in turn, had made then late as they had to wait for the absent-minded pool owner to fill-up his empty pool.
Not only did this create havoc with Tom and Jerry’s skinny-dipping schedule, it also upset both of our surreptitious Aqua-Dude skinny-dippers. Once they were back on their journey in visiting all the pools throughout world, they became somewhat sloppy in their diving as they were trying desparately to “make-up” the time that they’d lost.
As a result, they were visiting the last pool on their list at night-fall, just as Louisa, the Wicked With of the West, also known as the Biggest Bitch of the Land, was beginning her nocturnal rounds. Their pools crossed as their visits coincided at the same location and time. Just as the Aqua-Dudes, Tom and Jerry, began their naked dive into their final pool visit, Louisa appeared.
The moment that Louisa stood at the edge of the water, Jerry hit the aquatic surface. He inadvertently splashed her with water. At first, no one said anything as time stood still. Then the horrid truth became obvious as Louisa, the Wicked Witch of the West and current reigning Biggest Bitch of the land began to shudder and sizzle. Steam began to emanate from her body.
That was when the Aqua-Dudes both remembered the legend: “To rid the world of evil, all you have to do is to soak the Wicked Witch with water.” As this realization sank in, Louisa began to erupt into convulsions and her being began to shrink in size. Soon, all that remained where she previously stood was a puddle of steaming water. Louisa, the Wicked Witch of the West and Biggest Bitch of the Land was no more. She had evaporated into a shallow puddle!
Tom and Jerry, the Aqua-Dudes were proclaimed Heroes throughout the Enchanted Forest. In their honor, on this, the First Day of Summer, annually, it was decreed that the night that followed would be the shortest one of the year and that magic would reign forever on this night.
Before the following sunrise, Alistair and Rudyard, the Gentlemen Wood-Nymphs, were at long last freed from their curse. They immediately embraced and kissed their way into eternal happiness, together, as husband and husband. They took up permanent residence in the Enchanted Forest and lived happily ever after.
Now, some of you may wonder, “Whatever became of Prince Chuck of the Enchanted Forest and DuQuan, the Wonderful Naked Swordsman? Did they live happily ever after also?
The answer to that, my friends, comes later. Remember, as I began this epic tale of magic and gay naked romance, that I shared with you that Prince Chuck of the Enchanted Forest and DuQuan, the Wonderful Naked Swordsman wouldn’t learn of their love until the First Day of Summer, 2018. That’s one year away.