Sleeping Together, Bare, When Visiting Family

When guests overnight away from your own home same sex couples often face a dilemma that is unique. This is especially true when staying with family members, particularly parents. Where do you sleep? In separate beds in separate rooms? What about if you live together while you’re at home and being a dutiful child and visiting a childhood home? Does the partner who’s parents own the home ask if you both can sleep in the same bed? Or do you take the “easy” route and stay in a nearby hotel?

This question may sound trivial and silly to some but it can be a relationship-breaker to a same gender couple who are both trying not to offend or alienate the family of one or the “in-laws” of the other. The problem is compounded by the fact that most extended families don’t have experience in this type of situation and many have no one to look to for their advice. The resources that are available for most man/woman couples simply don’t exist for gay couples and their extended families.

Aaron (my husband) and I were fortunate in that we both have supportive parents who made it clear, beforehand, that when (not if, but when) we visited exactly what the sleeping arrangements would be. Aaron and I met in 2010 at a social nudity event. When he went with me to Greece that August to see my parents, we knew in advance that we’d be sleeping apart. As my father explained to us in an email, we’d only recently met and weren’t even living together, so we’d have separate bedrooms while in Greece. Their logic being you do what you want in your own space but once you’re under our roof, our will be done. Period. We agreed.

That same year, for Thanksgiving, we traveled to Roanoke, Virginia, to stay with Aaron’s parents. He’d only “come-out” to his parents after he met me and so this family visit was somewhat tense (understatement). He’d told his folks about meeting mine and about our sleeping accommodations while there and his parents felt the same. As that was settled before we even left Arlington, our stay in Roanoke was relatively stress free.

We didn’t move in together until the Spring, 2012. Once that happened, whenever we went to see my family, we were allowed to sleep together as long as my nieces and nephews weren’t staying with my parents. If they were there, then it was back to sleeping apart. With his family, we weren’t allowed to sleep in the same bed even though they knew that we were living together.

On October 6, 2014, marriage equality came to Virginia. Aaron’s parents immediately began a relentless campaign for our getting married. They even called my parents and enlisted their support for us legalizing our relationship. Unbeknownst to either of them, we’d already agreed to wed in 2015. We both wanted a summer wedding as neither of us appreciate cold weather.

Aaron and I were married on Saturday, August 15, 2015. After that day, when we visit my family in Greece, whether my nieces and nephews are staying with my parents or not, we share the same bed. When we visit Aaron’s parents, we now sleep in the same bed in his old room.

I realize that different circumstances apply to each same gender couple and that each situation is both special and unique depending on the family. Just as no two individuals are alike, neither are their family dynamics. Marriage equality is a recent phenomenon and isn’t universally recognized. Homophobia still exists throughout the world and even in the most progressive of societies. Their are religious beliefs and cultural taboos that some parents and even contemporaries can’t seem to move beyond.

Unfortunately, while although most of our families honestly love us, many don’t really understand us. Without causing a familial crisis, most of my gay friends who are in relationships just keep their comments to themselves and do whatever is needed to maintain harmony on the home front. That is by no means an ideal solution but it is sometimes the only option available to us.

Most of us don’t want to add any extra stress into our already hectic lives. Family drama, specifically over a situation where we have no control, is something we can all live without. There is no benefit to being an unwelcome guest in the household of another. Nothing good will come out of that predicament.

I offered the examples above of how Aaron’s family and mine responded to our sleeping together both before and after our marriage. Other families will offer different levels of acceptance based on moral values, religious beliefs and individual attitudes. There is no right or wrong carved into stone regarding this situation. Each couple and their family will have to decide for themselves what they can and cannot live with.

It goes without saying that sleeping bare is the choice of each couple. When sleeping nude in the home of another, just be mindful of the “enthusiasm” of children when guests are around. While visiting my parents when one of my nephews was there, Aaron and I were awakened before dawn one morning with my five-year old nephew crawling into bed with us and taking off his pyjamas. Since we were asleep clothes-free, he wanted the same. While there is nothing wrong with our nudity, we should remain sensitive to the tendency of children to emulate their elders and to the wishes of their parents.

And children aren’t the only ones to be concerned about. Sometimes, the adult homeowners are just as lax in respecting privacy. If your family isn’t aware of the visiting couple’s naturist/nudist habits, re-thinking those sleeping habits might be advisable.

 

Naked hugs!

Roger/ReNude Pride

USA: February is Black History Month

Every February in the USA is observed as Black History Month. This month is set-aside for the country to celebrate the many contributions made by African-Americans towards the betterment of this nation, specifically, and  to the improvement of the quality of life for all humanity, in general. It is a time of reflection, contemplation and jubilation. However, it wasn’t always the case.

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End Of Month Reflection: January, 2017

So today may not be the real last day of the month, but with only one more day left, I figure it to be close enough. I prefer publishing posts here on Monday and Friday as opposed to any other day of the week, anyway. It suits my professional schedule and my household routine. Plus, if I have anything important to share, I can always insert a bonus post anytime. That’s one of the benefits of authoring ReNude Pride!

Continue reading End Of Month Reflection: January, 2017

Same Gender Loving Men And Nudity

There are a number of naturists/nudists who, for whatever reason, do not look upon gay or bisexual bare practitioners (nudists) as members of the naturist/nudist community. In their minds, anyone who isn’t “opposite-gender-loving” (heterosexual) has no place within the clothes-free culture. It’s as though we don’t even exist, even as we “non-exist” without clothing, just like themselves.

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Not Exactly Myself Last Week!

I need to apologize to those reading/visiting here last week. I wasn’t feeling my usual naughty and irreverent self. Somehow I caught a gruesome, nasty and pesky germ and suffered with a cold almost the entire week. Tuesday through Saturday were the worst days and I didn’t have the energy or desire to get out of bed and log onto my laptop! I cancelled all of my classes and stayed in bed.

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Fetish: Feet and Toes

This isn’t a posting strictly about being same gender loving (gay) or nudity. It’s about the attraction that some people have towards the feet and/or toes of another. The topic is definitely related to nudity because as bare practitioners (nudists), naked feet are a frequent occurrence and a common sight in our world. This topic has fascinated me, partly, I guess, because I never completely understood it. I mean, feet are feet, right? They’re used for walking from one place to another.

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Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Holiday

The Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was born on January 15, 1929. Today is the holiday celebrating his legacy and his life. He was slain on April 4, 1968. He is best known as a civil rights leader and peace advocate. In the style of Gandhi, he is also noted for his belief in non-violent protest, even when confronted with physical force. U.S. Federal law mandates the celebration of most public holidays on the Monday closest to the original date.

Dr. King was awarded the Nobel Prize for Peace by King Gustav of Sweden in 1964. In 1977, he was posthumously awarded the U.S. Presidential Medal of Freedom by the (then) President, Jimmy Carter.

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